Shooting stars (microfiction monday)
The moon crested over the hill
Its regal position
displaced by five shooting stars
that flecked the sky
What she lost that night a galaxy gained
Please go to Stony River for more Microfiction Monday
The moon crested over the hill
Its regal position
displaced by five shooting stars
that flecked the sky
What she lost that night a galaxy gained
Please go to Stony River for more Microfiction Monday
oh a stirring piece..what she lost the unverse gained…
July 26, 2010 at 5:52 am
What a perfect ending. Excellent.
July 26, 2010 at 6:56 am
Fantastic take in this Pic Moon…
Welcome to Micro-Monday!!
July 26, 2010 at 7:09 am
thanks G
July 26, 2010 at 10:25 am
Love your take for MM! Sad but beautiful. Hope you have a great week!
Sylvia
July 26, 2010 at 7:21 am
Thank you Sylvia
July 26, 2010 at 10:25 am
Sad one but hopeful too.
Now there are 5 new angels up there looking out for her!
Have a great Monday.
July 26, 2010 at 8:26 am
The plight of a mother who has lost always sad – thanks
July 26, 2010 at 10:26 am
Wow! This is beautiful! A lot of thought must have gone into this!
One correction — the apostrophe in ‘it’s’ is unnecessary. It’s the only possessive that doesn’t get one — and it’s because the contraction it is does…so you can have one more character if you need it! But I don’t think you need it at all.
July 26, 2010 at 8:41 am
Thanks – for the correction
July 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
well put.
lovely image is matched by your witty words.
July 26, 2010 at 8:42 am
thanks sweet Ji
July 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
Ooo. . .I like this one. The last line is something special.
Have a great week x
July 26, 2010 at 10:18 am
appreciate that
July 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
Change. The only consistent in our lives. Nice one. I gave it a go today too.
July 26, 2010 at 10:50 am
What one loses, another gains indeed!
I loved the way you juxtaposed the shooting stars into your poem
July 26, 2010 at 11:58 am
that is a good way to look at it. poor mother
July 26, 2010 at 1:39 pm
A lovely, bittersweet story. Thanks. Do you know who the illustrator was?
July 26, 2010 at 12:08 pm
I don’t know the illustrator tho would love to see more of his or her work
July 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Let’s hear it for the galaxy. I’ve gone for science for today’s 140
July 26, 2010 at 12:54 pm
I caught you quantum physics lesson my friend – I’ll stick with the moon thank you
July 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Fantastic-very well done!
Congratulations!
July 26, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Stellar, in every sense of the word. Loved it!
July 26, 2010 at 1:47 pm
fantastic in so few words…….That last line holds my theme
July 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Very sad and touching. I especially love the last line–poetic, for sure.
July 26, 2010 at 2:49 pm
thanks Sylvia for the visit – like the visual prompt
July 26, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Very nice poem Leslie…and must agree the last line was very special within the poem.
July 26, 2010 at 3:11 pm
thanks – ya know how some words literally slip off the pen – that one did
July 26, 2010 at 3:58 pm
I like how many emotions this one expressed!
July 26, 2010 at 4:39 pm
So sad but touched my heart…you have a way with words Leslie. It seems I’m always the last to leave a comment because of the time difference!! Better late than never my friend
July 26, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Lovely, truly.
-C
July 26, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Actually, this made me think of a mother learning to let go of her children. That’s weird, huh? But there you go, that’s what I thought. Brilliantly written, Moon.
July 27, 2010 at 5:04 am
Oh! What an ending, and beautifully done — you took me by surprise, wonderfully.
July 27, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Thanks Susan it was great meeting some microfiction folks
July 27, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Dear Moondustwriter,
I love your name and your MFM.
A twist – a profound lost instead of deep longing…
July 29, 2010 at 4:50 am