Shooting stars (microfiction monday)
The moon crested over the hill
Its regal position
displaced by five shooting stars
that flecked the sky
What she lost that night a galaxy gained
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oh a stirring piece..what she lost the unverse gained…
July 26, 2010 at 5:52 am
What a perfect ending. Excellent.
July 26, 2010 at 6:56 am
Fantastic take in this Pic Moon…
Welcome to Micro-Monday!!
July 26, 2010 at 7:09 am
thanks G
July 26, 2010 at 10:25 am
Love your take for MM! Sad but beautiful. Hope you have a great week!
Sylvia
July 26, 2010 at 7:21 am
Thank you Sylvia
July 26, 2010 at 10:25 am
Sad one but hopeful too.
Now there are 5 new angels up there looking out for her!
Have a great Monday.
July 26, 2010 at 8:26 am
The plight of a mother who has lost always sad – thanks
July 26, 2010 at 10:26 am
Wow! This is beautiful! A lot of thought must have gone into this!
One correction — the apostrophe in ‘it’s’ is unnecessary. It’s the only possessive that doesn’t get one — and it’s because the contraction it is does…so you can have one more character if you need it! But I don’t think you need it at all.
July 26, 2010 at 8:41 am
Thanks – for the correction
July 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
well put.
lovely image is matched by your witty words.
July 26, 2010 at 8:42 am
thanks sweet Ji
July 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
Ooo. . .I like this one. The last line is something special.
Have a great week x
July 26, 2010 at 10:18 am
appreciate that
July 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
Change. The only consistent in our lives. Nice one. I gave it a go today too.
July 26, 2010 at 10:50 am
What one loses, another gains indeed!
I loved the way you juxtaposed the shooting stars into your poem
July 26, 2010 at 11:58 am
that is a good way to look at it. poor mother
July 26, 2010 at 1:39 pm
A lovely, bittersweet story. Thanks. Do you know who the illustrator was?
July 26, 2010 at 12:08 pm
I don’t know the illustrator tho would love to see more of his or her work
July 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Let’s hear it for the galaxy. I’ve gone for science for today’s 140
July 26, 2010 at 12:54 pm
I caught you quantum physics lesson my friend – I’ll stick with the moon thank you
July 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Fantastic-very well done!
Congratulations!
July 26, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Stellar, in every sense of the word. Loved it!
July 26, 2010 at 1:47 pm
fantastic in so few words…….That last line holds my theme
July 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Very sad and touching. I especially love the last line–poetic, for sure.
July 26, 2010 at 2:49 pm
thanks Sylvia for the visit – like the visual prompt
July 26, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Very nice poem Leslie…and must agree the last line was very special within the poem.
July 26, 2010 at 3:11 pm
thanks – ya know how some words literally slip off the pen – that one did
July 26, 2010 at 3:58 pm
I like how many emotions this one expressed!
July 26, 2010 at 4:39 pm
So sad but touched my heart…you have a way with words Leslie. It seems I’m always the last to leave a comment because of the time difference!! Better late than never my friend
July 26, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Lovely, truly.
-C
July 26, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Actually, this made me think of a mother learning to let go of her children. That’s weird, huh? But there you go, that’s what I thought. Brilliantly written, Moon.
July 27, 2010 at 5:04 am
Oh! What an ending, and beautifully done — you took me by surprise, wonderfully.
July 27, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Thanks Susan it was great meeting some microfiction folks
July 27, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Dear Moondustwriter,
I love your name and your MFM.
A twist – a profound lost instead of deep longing…
July 29, 2010 at 4:50 am