Not So Silent Night (#Oneshotwednesday)
“Save me” said in anguish
“oppression make it cease”
words chanted in the night
alas no days of peace
*
A world mired in deluge
fists full of abhorrent pain
A light sent into the world
groping for the common man
***
A love light was unfurled
delivered through his hands
a desperate call into the skies
to breach the sorrows of man
*
the least tallied as a friend
a child was extolled
he came on that barren night
to save the weeping soul
Please join us at One Stop Poetry as we celebrate poetry and the holidays.
Thanks to Creative Commons and Yorkville for the photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yorkville/32958917
Moondustwriter, I am enthralled by this “noisy” Christmas offering of yours. How true, how exactly as it is. You write everything so well, lucid. I wonder often how do you speak? Maybe the same as you write? I do.
I like!
December 21, 2010 at 3:33 am
Aww too kind Don – I’m a singer so some of my poetry I sing
December 21, 2010 at 9:41 am
Sorry, had to return. About that really-istic hand, maybe reaching out in a “save me” gesture?
My immediate perceptive was maybe another hand, not quite so beautiful, pushing back the “Light-of-the-World”…so as to promote the malignancies herein. (Apologize for the double-dip.)
December 21, 2010 at 4:25 am
Yes agreed – glad I can’t see that hand but it is ever present
December 21, 2010 at 9:42 am
Does Joel Osteen know about this?
December 21, 2010 at 4:58 am
Shay!!! You are are a cut above
December 21, 2010 at 9:43 am
this is lovely. very chirstmassy, my dear.
and i love the alliteration in “fists full of abhorrent pain”
“he came on that barren night
to save the weeping soul” beautifully put.
i’ll stop now before i quote the whole poem
:) xx
December 21, 2010 at 5:31 am
Significant for this time of year.
December 21, 2010 at 9:48 am
A fine poem offered in the spirit of the season…well done my friend.
December 21, 2010 at 10:23 am
a really beautiful poem – the birth of a saviour! what good news!!
December 21, 2010 at 10:58 am
Agreeing on the songlike quality. As always you have the single vision here, seeing the light. I think you did a great job with the structure–short phrases, a bit of juxtaposition. All very musical and effective.
December 21, 2010 at 11:06 am
yep this silent night wasn’t so silent – and pushed away ever since by far too many…
December 21, 2010 at 11:15 am
Ooh – we were on the same wavelength – although I might like yours better as a Christmas poem than mine turned out to be. But hands are important in both of them!
December 21, 2010 at 11:29 am
”he came on that barren night
to save the weeping soul”
what beautiful lines, but then thats what I always find here – thanks Moon
December 21, 2010 at 11:29 am
A love light was unfurled
delivered through his hands
a desperate call into the skies
to breach the sorrows of man
Christmas spirit all over us Leslie..i love your poem as all your unique prespectives do to me,i am literally enchanted reading you..:)
December 21, 2010 at 11:45 am
“To save the weeping soul” This line struck me. Stupendous Poem
December 21, 2010 at 11:56 am
“fists full of abhorrent pain” Hard hitting Christmas flow. Succint and meaningful holiday poem, Moonie
December 21, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Ah we have similar takes again this week dear Leslie. Let me take this opportunity to wish you and yours a joyous season and a phenomenal new year. This was spot on — clear, resounding, and beautiful. Well done as always!
December 21, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Silent but not so silent. Some very strong lines here Leslie.
a desperate call into the skies
to breach the sorrows of man
Indeed.
Thank you for sharing and for all the work you do.
December 21, 2010 at 1:15 pm
Oddly, I was reminded of Ebenezer Scrooge, and his journey to enlightenment. That’s why I love poems so much – each word and phrasing can mean so many different things to each individual who reads them. I enjoyed this; thank you! Hope you have a Safe, Fun Christmas, and a wonderful New Year! Cheers, David
December 21, 2010 at 1:25 pm
So beautiful and relevant. Reminded me of my most favorite Christmas song that I listen to every year.
xoxoxo ♥
December 21, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Beautiful poem filled with Christmas Hope….lovely Leslie for this blessed week….bkm
December 21, 2010 at 2:23 pm
A lovely “Reason for the Season” poem….gives hope and a feeling of depth to this silly season.
Thank you, dear friend….it comforts and gives direction.
Lady Nyo
December 21, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Great submission for 1SW. Reads very smoothly & word choice was superb. Enjoyable read!
crb.
December 21, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Thanks CRB – this one for me makes a statement
December 21, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Hey really – your a singer set some of you’re poetry to music? Me too… the ballads mend themselves best I find. Appropriately seasonal piece. Solid quatrains with rhyme that feels natural and unforced
Have a great Christmas/Solstice my friend
Luke
December 21, 2010 at 4:21 pm
yeh ya lose it though if you dont use it – been so busy writing…
December 21, 2010 at 5:30 pm
“he came on that barren night
to save the weeping soul”
there is a sense of gentle presence in these last two lines…amidst the nights that are not silent and the pain of the world…he still comes…
Beautiful Lovely lady of the moon dust
December 21, 2010 at 5:19 pm
A sense of escape from a ‘A world mired in deluge’ is very well described:)It’s always good to have hope and faith by our side to see the guiding light that is present even in adversity.
Hey, I would like to be featured on ‘One Stop Poetry’
It’s a lovely place to meet fellow writers and poets.Hats off to all of you!
December 21, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Glad to have you at One Stop and thanks
December 21, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Always enjoy poetry that begins with universal struggle and ends with hope.
Masterful job! Thanks for sharing.
December 21, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Lovely, masterful – a birth indeed
Thank you for sharing
December 21, 2010 at 7:51 pm
What a wonderful timely poem, this not-so-silent-night of yours. Very nice.
Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/greatness/
December 21, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Thanks Teresa enjoy your holidays
December 21, 2010 at 10:15 pm
Love the title of this…it so perfectly sets the tone and the message of the One who gave a voice to the voiceless…and the word choice continues this tone, reminding us of the suffering that must be remembered amidst the joy.
My favorite is “the least tallied as a friend”
Merry Christmas and God bless
Michelle
December 21, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Thanks Michelle i aimed a bit differently
December 21, 2010 at 10:13 pm
I am in awe of how structured this piece is, each stanza a complete poem unto and of itself.
December 21, 2010 at 9:46 pm
thanks – you know sometimes it just flows
December 21, 2010 at 10:13 pm
I LOVE the finishing lines, which tied this together in a beautiful sense. It does cast this sense of “spirit” to it..struggle and then this “save” at the end. Fantastic!
April 
December 21, 2010 at 10:47 pm
You did wonderfully! I like it. I like the your development; it draws me (the reader) into your theme in a way that I can empathize with these folk. First you told of the ails of the world, then of the hope, and finally the salvation.
Merry Christmas!
..
December 21, 2010 at 11:44 pm
Stunning! Wishing you the happiest of holidays.
December 22, 2010 at 2:31 am
i loved the idea…not so silent night…as always a wonderful write…and my friend you know you will hear this a million times from me but have a great christmas and a wonderful new year…thanks for all the support and the journey through One Stop together has been a joy..cheers pete
December 22, 2010 at 2:52 am
Dang…I blink and miss 3 posts!!
(Of course I read them)
And Loved them…..G
December 22, 2010 at 5:43 am
oh the weeping souls…
This ,Moon lady, is brilliant, as every single thing you write
Thanks for sharing
Hoping you have a full of love season
December 22, 2010 at 7:17 am
Such stark reality. Again you have written with the precision of a surgeon, concise. lucid, beautiful.
Thanks so much and may you be blessed with silent nights and peace now and always.
December 22, 2010 at 7:43 am
‘the least tallied as a friend’ – this line, though not the most poetic in this poem full of very musical lines, held the essence of the piece for me – beautifully put.
December 22, 2010 at 7:56 am
Silent night, holy night. Your poem brings back the nostalgic strains of the song, reminding us Christmas is here again! Excellent piece!
December 22, 2010 at 10:07 am
Awesome poem.
December 22, 2010 at 10:12 am
Great one for meditation, Leslie! I love how you conjure the world miseries getting smoothered by the “love light” and the “hands”, those of an infant, who was born to “deliver” us. The last stanza from your pen, your soul, says it for us especially the last two lines–”he came on that barren night/to save the weeping soul”. And it’s been 2,010 years!
December 22, 2010 at 10:55 am
Solid, good use of imagery work.
December 22, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Moon, your poetry is always so full of meaning. Lovely job sweetie x
December 22, 2010 at 6:45 pm
he came on that barren night
to save the weeping soul……such powerful lines. The last two lines really complete this poem. I love these lines.
December 22, 2010 at 8:17 pm
Lovely and appropriate poem for Christmas time. Happy 25th anniversary!
December 22, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Thanks for coming to my site and welcoming me would love to know how I can meet more writers.
GS
December 23, 2010 at 11:17 am
Enthralling piece of writing.
December 23, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Perfect, Leslie. Your words are like a Christmas carol.
December 23, 2010 at 9:03 pm
you are so sweet – kind of a sad one – it would be in gregrorian chant
December 24, 2010 at 7:47 am
And he sure did save many an unhappy soul…
Well delivered, Moonie…
A very Happy New Year to you!!!
xoxo
December 27, 2010 at 9:08 pm
He definitely seemed to have healed many an unhappy soul…
An inspiring and peaceful write, Moonie…well delivered!!!
Happy New Year, my dear.. xoxo
December 27, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Thanks so much – hugs
December 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm