My First Cup #coffee #haiku


hot coffee

Inhale in the morn

aroma wakens senses

stirs me in a trance

***

stirs me in a trance

steamy liquid taunting me

warmth between my lips

***

Warmth between my lips

the welcome kiss of my days

longing for more

Carpe Diem has a wonderful prompt “Coffee” and so I willingly join in. Kristjaan has a wonderful place where people join in and share their haiku.

Have a cup of haiku hot java

Photography “Java” L. Moon 2013 copyright

Author: moondustwriter

Thank you for visiting Moondustwriter. In 2019, we started working with an E. African team developing elementary curriculum for African children. As a writer, it is a thrill to help children who want to learn. As a bio major and nurse, it is exciting to use my knowledge to encourage young minds to love science. I've been part of the blogging community for more than 10 years. Some old timers may remember the award winning (2011 Twitter Shorty ) blog community - One Stop Poetry. I was the co-producer of that fast growing blog community. I am a published writer, poet, artist and photographer. I have written, as well as edited, for periodicals, radio, blogs and fellow writers. There are many facets to this moon - thanks for stopping by.

21 thoughts on “My First Cup #coffee #haiku”

  1. That’s certainly the way I start my day at 5:30. You are talking about a cup of coffee, however. I am talking about a pot. And obviously, coffee puts prettier words in your mind than it does mine.

    Like

      1. Nice haibun, Sharon. This form rellay works for you.Here’s a suggestion that has to do with conventions of the haibun form. The juxtaposition of haiku with prose can be more powerful if the haiku doesn’t repeat words & concepts in the prose, but complements the prose in some way. The image in the haiku might even be different from the image in the prose, showing a different angle on the same feeling. In this haibun, you could do that in one of two ways. You could keep the fog-as-marching/soldier imagery in the prose, then use something else maybe something else that reminds you of soldiers, or maybe soldiers themselves in the haiku.Or you could leave the haiku as it is and edit back the second paragraph of the prose. I like the ghostly pillars, but can you edit out the soldiers marching? Let the haiku carry that weight.I’d also cut It was interesting. Your haibun shows that the scene was interesting to you, and makes it interesting to us.What do you think?

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s