My First Cup #coffee #haiku


hot coffee

Inhale in the morn

aroma wakens senses

stirs me in a trance

***

stirs me in a trance

steamy liquid taunting me

warmth between my lips

***

Warmth between my lips

the welcome kiss of my days

longing for more

Carpe Diem has a wonderful prompt “Coffee” and so I willingly join in. Kristjaan has a wonderful place where people join in and share their haiku.

Have a cup of haiku hot java

Photography “Java” L. Moon 2013 copyright

Published by moondustwriter

Thank you for visiting Moondustwriter. In 2019, we have an exciting project. We are working with a team developing elementary curriculum for African children. As a writer, it is a thrill to help children who want to learn. I've been part of the blogging community for more than 10 years. Some old timers may remember the award winning (2012 Twitter Shorty ) blog community - One Stop Poetry. I was the (quiet) originator of the idea and co-producer of One Stop Poetry. I am a published writer, poet, artist and photographer. I have written, as well as edited, for periodicals, radio, blogs and fellow writers. There are many facets to this moon - thanks for stopping by.

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21 Comments

  1. Thanks for your comment on my coffee mugs. I love your coffee haiku as well. I do think it’s hard to go wrong with that theme. You have a lovely blog.

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  2. That’s certainly the way I start my day at 5:30. You are talking about a cup of coffee, however. I am talking about a pot. And obviously, coffee puts prettier words in your mind than it does mine.

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      1. Nice haibun, Sharon. This form rellay works for you.Here’s a suggestion that has to do with conventions of the haibun form. The juxtaposition of haiku with prose can be more powerful if the haiku doesn’t repeat words & concepts in the prose, but complements the prose in some way. The image in the haiku might even be different from the image in the prose, showing a different angle on the same feeling. In this haibun, you could do that in one of two ways. You could keep the fog-as-marching/soldier imagery in the prose, then use something else maybe something else that reminds you of soldiers, or maybe soldiers themselves in the haiku.Or you could leave the haiku as it is and edit back the second paragraph of the prose. I like the ghostly pillars, but can you edit out the soldiers marching? Let the haiku carry that weight.I’d also cut It was interesting. Your haibun shows that the scene was interesting to you, and makes it interesting to us.What do you think?

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