Tattered and Torn #oneshotwednesday #abuse

Crouched in the corner

lights graze my form

front and center

small, faded, forlorn

***

What do they want?

no warmth, only spite

peering and prodding

no “endless delight”

***

Sucking the color

pulling apart

perfectly aimed

at the center of my heart

**

Any one there?

a moment to share

reach out a hand

you – do you dare?

**

I’m not diseased

just lost, confused

I was the kid

no-love, abused

 

Today is a day to share poetry at One Shot Wednesday. A time for creative expression and encouragement. Enjoy the art of poetry and a community of wonderful friends.

Marred

If you  knew

what I was thinking, feeling

what would you do?

turn and walk away

reject Me

so much in there

makes no sense

***

understand rejection too well

should it be hidden , broadcast

nothing to be proud of

***

Lend me a clean slate

I’ll mess up in another way

different but still flawed

I guess I’m just meant to be …

She’s Gone / He’s Gone (Teen Suicide)

Molested by a neighbor

she told me one day

Asked her parents for help

they knew not what to say

she begged and pleaded

a break from this beast

They didn’t aid her

her problems seemed the least

they were until that day

she left them a note

she couldn’t forgive them

was all that she wrote

***

Everyone knew this boy

had talent we read

had so much promise

a senior they said

he lived to the heights

not wanting to bend

he planned it for prom night

next  morning was his end

***

Why is she gone Why is he?

they had so much to offer

doesn’t society see?

life can be so hard

give to our teens

hope, support and  love

people they can depend

maybe then

this wouldn’t have been their end

Teen Suicide

Has your life been affected by teen suicide? Not a day goes by when a teen doesn’t contemplate, attempt, or succeed at suicide. I was in the ER last weekend; a teen fortunately was brought in before it was too late. People in tears in the hall a somber cloud hung in the wing. Pumping stomachs – is it enough? How can we be there before the final bell tolls? Who should tackle the problem? We all can play a part. Be a shoulder, be a friend, be that someone who a teen can depend on. Even a smile of acceptance in a crowd can convey hope in desperation. Make a difference it may just save a teen’s life today!

Photo: Ragged by Paleontour

(Lic Creative Commons)

Love Hurts ( losing a friend to cancer)

Romantic at Heart

I am a romantic at heart so my poet friends tell me. I never really thought about it before. Something I do know about myself is that I pour my life into lives that are suffering, hurting. I’m a nurse so I guess it helps to have a big heart – sometimes. After a heart wrenching situation with a friend, I was reminded  that Love Hurts!

A Memory

I was taken back in time, not centuries, just a few years back. Went back to a time when I was on the “top of my game.” I was in hospital admin.  My job  was  training the hospital staff- something I love to do.  I was also required to assess the staff’s progress. I spent a lot of time on one unit because it was right next to my office. One of the patients on the unit was a gal who from outward appearances seemed hard and unapproachable. As the weeks went on and we talked, Ellie became a friend.

Same People Same Places

Ellie was a little older than me but with cancer induced dementia Ellie was living in another world. Luckily the world her dementia chose was  Ellie’s late teens. In her mind, she visited places where she snuck out at night to meet a boy or have a smoke. What we discovered was that we had grown up within a five-minute drive of each other. We had known some of the same people and hung out at the same places.

Watching Decay

Ellie and I grew close because I could go back to the world where she now spent most of her time. We laughed about our antics as teens. She was there again trying to defy her parents and I was hoping her treatments would defy the odds. Ellie would visit my office after going to the courtyard for a smoke. I hated watching her decay. I hated hearing the gasping coughs after a chain smoking binge.  Ellie had rebelled and become a smoker as a teen, she was not going to give up her smoking now.

I laughed ..She coughed

I went visiting family during the holidays- drove by her house and the park and the mall. I wanted to be reminded of where she was and where we could visit together. She told me a story of  nuns skinny dipping in her pool (you didn’t hear that from me). I reminded her of the puke green fence surrounding the yard,  of shopping at the mall, and we re-lived football games. I laughed ~ she coughed. I held her as she writhed in pain; My desk blotted out my tears.

Smiles laced with sorrow

The last days I would take a flower and a smile to my heavily drugged friend. I would carry peace in to room 416; I would carry sorrow out. The tug on my heart grew more profound as the day grew near. My staff watched my pain and feared. Then it happened; I was off that day. My teen friend left me what more could I say. I cried each time I passed 416~ expected to see smoke tendrils in the courtyard. No more.

My family asked me – was it worth it? Was it worth loving her? I assured myself – “it was  worth every moment!” I am hoping she is free now seeking out the skinny dipping nuns,basking in the sun on the other side of Eternity – waiting for me.

You would think I would have learned…

Today a friend left in another way – didn’t die just moved on.  What more is there to say – I keep giving my heart and am reminded that love hurts.

Thank you Rich Anderson for the photograph